GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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