with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
