They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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