It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
