Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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