I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
