The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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