We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
