community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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