I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
