Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
