Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
