I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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