oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
