Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
