you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
