I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
