He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
