we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
