You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
