3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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