Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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