Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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