How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
