this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
