I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we're making bets on your personal life
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize