so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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