oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
