I'm going to jail i love you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
