I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize