I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
