I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I won the penis lottery.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
