I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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