Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
