there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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