Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
