i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Who died my cat blue again?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
