Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
