You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
