Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just threw up on my dentist
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
