He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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