I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
