There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
