I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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