I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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