Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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