i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
