so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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