i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
