How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
