Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
