I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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