Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
