oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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