Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
