summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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