my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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