Tell her she can't have a vagina
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
