they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
These tits shall not be calmed
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