my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
