Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
